Diary of a Packers Fan the Tuesday after a Heartbreaking Loss
Yesterday started like most days. I woke up at 5:30. I went downstairs and drank coffee with my wife. I packed my laptop and suit in my backpack, bundled up, and ran into work.
Despite the 3 inches of snow, and 15 degree temperatures, I didn’t think much about the icy three-mile run. My mind was fixated on the Green Bay Packers playoff loss on Saturday night.
The blocked punt with 3 minutes left, the blocked field goal going into half time, and the game winning field goal that gave San Francisco their only lead of the game- just as time expired.
How did they lose that game?
The truth about my runs is that I almost never think about conditions. I am usually praying or thinking about what I’m grateful for. But no matter how many times I tried to focus my mind wandered to the Packer’s loss.
It reminds me of when Fiona, my daughter, has a nightmare. She will be crying in her room. And I’ll tell her that it’s just a dream, and she just needs to think about something else. And in tears she will pant out, “I can’t”.
This morning, I understood what she meant.
Growing up in Green Bay Wisconsin, the Packers are more than a team. They are part of your culture. It feels like part of your blood.
For example, Brett Favre, the Packer’s former quarterback, went to my church growing up. And on non-football weekends, his family sat two rows behind us at mass.
Our local grocery store, the Red Owl, closed its doors 1 hours before every Packers game. There was no need to stay open- nobody would have come in anyways.
Through the back window of my house, I could see Lambeau Field. As a kid, I would ride my bicycle down to watch the Packer’s practice. Players would ride on my bike to and from the practice field. One of them, linebacker Bernardo Harris, became a personal friend, and often gave me free tickets- 45 yard line, second row. Right next to all the players' families.
Despite living in Chicago for the last 15 years, I still get upset when the Packers lose.
The day after the game, Chicago Bears legend Dick Butkus tweeted out, “funny the orange juice just tastes a little bit sweeter this morning”. I disagree. I thought it tasted bitter.
He wasn’t the only Bear’s fan that had thoughts about the loss.
Brett Kollmann, Bears fan and NFL writer said:
That’s what makes a successful season?
And Pat Tomasulo, Bears fan and WGN anchor said:
While a good number of people reading this are thinking, “how do I like these tweets?” For me, they feel different.
Besides feeling like a gut punch, it strikes me as strange.
The Bears are not in the playoffs. The Packers' winning or losing has no impact on the Chicago Bears team.
None. It has less value than a zero sum game.
But here is the thing- this is what twitter is built on-- a broken feedback loop. Where the content that gets the most traction are comments that show contempt to another group.
It feels good for ‘your tribe’ while alienating anyone that opposes your view.
This is part of the reason that America feels so divisive right now. Tell me something you care about, and in a matter of seconds, I can find thousands of people that have contempt for you.
And the result is that thousands of people will like digs at the Packers, but it breaks down at our ultimate goal: creating converts.
Studies have shown that undecideds (on any issue) do not respond well to a group showing another group contempt. In fact, it repels them.
Take for example the White House statement on vaccines right before Christmas:
"For the unvaccinated, you're looking at a winter of severe illness and death for yourselves, your families and the hospitals you may soon overwhelm."
While I think this comment was intended to be lobbed at unvaccinated conservatives, the groups with the lowest vaccination rates are black and Hispanic.
Regardless of our personal feelings towards the vaccine, telling 40% of the population they are going to die because you disagree with their decision, is not a compelling argument. Or at least I missed that chapter in Dale Carnegie’s classic, “How to Make Friends and Influence People”.
The result: Well, it’s no surprise that President Biden’s approval numbers are now below 34%. His base is remaining with him- but he is alienating everyone else. Especially independents.
And this is not just something that is isolated to the left. Remember when Trump tweeted out:
"Every time I speak of the haters and losers I do so with great love and affection. They cannot help the fact that they were born fu$#ed up"
While I’m not fully sure what this tweet means, I’m certain that there was no person in the ‘persuadable middle’ that said, ‘well, he said he is treating the haters and losers with love, so that's good…”
I can tell you with first-hand experience, being shown contempt makes me less likely to want to join that group.
Because the truth is, I want to be a Bears fan.
I’ve lived in Chicago for 15 years. While I can’t see the stadium out of my window, I can walk there in 3 miles.
But seeing these tweets the day after the loss makes it a really hard pill to swallow (I should note here, I’m positive there are Packers fans that would tweet the exact same thing in a reciprocal circumstance. In which case, my criticism would be the same).
Maybe you think that I would be a hard person to convert, but became a Cubs fan after 37 years of hating them.
So I decided to ask someone who is undecided- my 4 year old daughter.
She is a kid that I want to be a Bears fan. She owns Chicago Bears clothes. She has never lived in Wisconsin.
I showed her the tweets above and I said, ‘what do you think, Fiona?”.
Her response, “bad”.
I said, ‘does this make you more likely or less likely to cheer for the team they like?”
She says, “Less likely. They aren’t nice”.
Even at 4 years old, kids are repelled by contempt.
If the goal is to create more Bears’ fans, it seems that this tactic is serving the opposite purpose.
If you still have doubts, conservatives should walk to the TV and turn on MSNBC. Watch it for 15 minutes, and tell me if they changed your views on anything.
If you’re like most people, you likely got more emboldened with your positions. Because the ideologues on MSNBC treat conservatives with contempt. Not only that, what they say about conservatives is usually completely wrong. My assumption is because they have yet to talk to any conservatives, but I digress.
While I promise you that there are thousands of people on the other side watching and cheering them on. Feeling as euphoric as a Bears fan after the Packers playoff loss.
But they are missing the most important part: the persuadable audience.
The persuadables are listening, and they are making decisions on what group they want to be a part of.
Our challenge is to fight against the impulse to condescend and have contempt for people we disagree with. Which is hard because it feels good to 'dunk on them'.
We need to answer hostility with love, understanding, a positive sense of humor and generosity.
Because it's only through creating converts of persuadable people that we will build a conservative future in Illinois.
And until then, I’m staying off twitter. Because that loss (and the comments) still sting.